By Lexie Hanna, VMD
October 30, 2012: Hurricane Sandy came in like a storm, forcing
us to hunker down as a family and be together. We could not predict the
outcome, but prepared for the unknown. Our beloved black Lab Brasco’s final
days arrived in the same manner, and at the same time.
What started as some presumed muscular pain quickly turned into
paralysis, anxiety, leaky urine and uncontrollable bowels. The cause became
irrelevant at some point. After our MRI was cancelled twice due to the state of
emergency from the hurricane, we stopped wondering and did the best that we
could to help ease his pain at home. Since I’m a veterinarian and
acupuncturist, this involved acupuncture, massage and heat therapy, in addition
to pain medication. But he is not only my patient- he is “our boy.”
So we did what any parents good would do. We loved him, nursed
him, “sling walked” him, gave him extra treats, and let him lick my husband’s
head as much as he wanted, until even that became of little interest to him. We
talked to family, friends, and colleagues, each of us trying to grasp what
happened so quickly, and why.
A great colleague of mine finally gave me light. She asked if I
would “go crazy” not “knowing” what he had. And eventually I realized I did not
need to know. I just needed to be with our boy (he is next to me now as I
write). We did not want to spend a good part of his last days driving in the
bad weather to an unfamiliar place to have him anesthetized and put through the
MRI machine, just for an answer. Not that that would have been wrong. My
colleague eventually said, “just do what feels right in your heart, and no
guilt!” I realized then: she is part vet, part therapist and part religious
guide. In our profession, we must be all three at times.
So we bathed our boy (whose urine was now very strong smelling
and dribbling on him constantly). We sat with him, hugged and loved him and
allowed him to guide us. We can’t control what life brings. (And right now,
it’s bringing our three young boys up from the basement screaming about some
fight they just had). Ahh life. A rest. God’s rest. Perhaps this is what Brasco
really needs.
Addendum:
Brasco was humanely euthanized on Halloween morning, October 31,
2012. He became so painful throughout the night that we knew we had to end his
suffering. But the decision was not easy. I am sure many of you have faced
these same challenges. Is there a “right” time, a “perfect” scenario?
Unfortunately, the answer is usually no. It is a very individual decision. For
some (including myself with a previous pet), euthanasia never feels “right,”
and letting the animal go in it’s own time is the answer. Many of you come in
asking for our advice on this very topic. Our role is to help guide you,
support your decision and help maintain your companion animal’s quality of life
to the best of our ability.
Euthanasia comes with many opinions, stereotypes and emotions. It
is a very unique aspect of our job, and one that we do not take lightly.
However, it has its place, and we feel humbled to be able to help owners and pets
in the end of life process. So “no guilt!” Just listen to your heart, and do
what is right and best for YOU and YOUR pet.
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